Daring to Hope

Remarkable people have the guts to hope. The audacity to expect something from the world knowing that they are going to contribute to the world. These people understand why one can interchange the words hope, wish, pray, and dream. And perhaps many more words.

Exposing your dreams and hopes out there into the world not only validates them but gives you a deadline of sorts. Most common way of doing so is praying. In the process of praying one makes their dreams and hopes vulnerable. Open to failure or success. Open to scrutiny. Open to praise.

Today, I want to pray. I want to hope. I want to wish. I want to want. And I want to expose that to everyone. I want to be a remarkable person. So here goes...

Let's start lightly. I wish to get an HTC phone. One with more megapixels than my fingers can count. and maybe a laptop. No...I can deal without these..maybe:)

I hope you are still reading...thank you.

I wish that a few years from now...a few decades from now, I still find my skin beautiful. I wish that when I stare at the cells that form this chocolate organ of mine, I still marvel at the ability of the African Sun. I hope to look beyond the stretch marks and blemishes, and see beauty once more. I hope to never tire of this beauty.

I hope that I won't stop getting glass eyes when I hear stories from  the Apartheid era. I wish that I still get a headache when contemplating the horrors in the horn of Africa. I want to be able to empathise forever. 

I want more mistakes...learning opportunities.
I hope to still have a personality. likes and dislikes.
I want haters and lovers.
I want life. An ever-changing one.

I don't want to stop crying. I want to feel everything like it is the first time. I want to experience everything purely. And I believe that tears are the recognition of pure emotion. Therefore I don't want to stop crying. I want to have tears of joy, I want to feel salty water tremble down my face as my body rocks back and forth from laughter, I want to cry because I'm sad...and angry too.

I think about World Peace. 

I dream of a Khensani who is a successful businesswoman. A woman with influence. A woman who fosters change for the better. I hope that I will never think that these are ideals of a naive woman. I Pray that these will never be dubbed impossible ideals. 

I wish to travel the whole of Africa and the rest of the World. I wish to learn another African language. I wish to be more African. I pray to understand this blessed continent. 

I think about corruption in my country, my continent, my world.

I want to be understood.

I pray that I will be loved. I pray that I will have it in me to allow this love to come to me. I pray for truth in my relationships. I pray for purity. I dream about the ability to lose myself in the possibility of existing alongside someone with no insecurities and strings attached. I pray to love. 

I pray for meaningful friendships with strangers and family members

I pray..I wish...I cry for Happiness. For Fulfillment. For Growth.

I want to want more. I want to not be satisfied with where I am.

I wish to still have the need to freeze time and life with a single click of a camera (phone) button.
I hope that, even towards the end of my life, I still find heavenly beauty in music. I still sit and contemplate how the producer managed to capture this emotion with only beats and words (optional.). I still want to cry when a song makes sense in my life.

I yearn for more beauty in my life.

I hope to not feel naked after exposing myself like this. 

I hope that even if everything in my life goes badly I still have the audacity and the ability to hope. To expect something from the Universe.

Khensani