Once it leaves the mind...

I'm afraid.

Of what, exactly? I struggle to phrase that properly for you.

I dont even know if it is a person,

I do know that it is my mind that I'm most scared of.

The ideas that she comes up with. The resolutions and solutions that she finally reaches and comes up with. I understand her beauty, my mind, but I fail to understand why she would be the the cause of me falling in love with people's possibilities and not what they actually do. Isn't love related to the heart? Why is it now affecting my mind?

And this is why I say, Once it leaves the mind, Ideas have a life of their own. And unfortunately, I didn't have 9 months to prepare for the birth of my ideas...and that isn't even enough for some mothers.

So my ideas spew out prematurely, and I am shocked by their behaviour. How can such beautiful things come from my simple mind? How can such repulsing things sneak through the maze that is this mind? How does this Brain handle this?

Once it leaves the mind, I have no control over it. Once it leaves the mind...the ideas bully me into corners that I was not ready to venture into.

Changing my major at university had always been a dream; an idea. Yet, once it left the mind and it meandered into someone else's thoughts, I had the obligation of changing and achieving the dreams attached to it.

And this is why I'm scared. Ideas leave my mind and I have to commit to them. Ideas leave my mind and by default my mind makes a promise to uphold and achieve the idea.

So I say once again....Once it leaves the mind...